Finding the Time
by Flagg1991
Summary: Sequel to "Falling in the Forest": After beginning a sexual relationship, Lincoln and Lynn struggle to find time to be "alone," leading to humiliating circumstances and sexual frustration...lots and lots of sexual frustration.
1. Alone Time (Is Hard to Come By)

Lynn Loud barged through the front door, shucked off her backpack, kicked out of her shoes, and pounded up the stairs in socked feet. Behind her, Lincoln tripped over the threshold and went down, banging his arms against the floor. "Shit!" he hissed, and tried to get up, but his backpack, full of textbooks, spoiled his balance, and he toppled onto his side. He slipped out of it, jumped to his feet, and followed his sister, tripping again at the top of the stairs and landing hard on his knees. Goddamn. Anymore of this and he wouldn't live to see twelve.

Shaking it off, he got up and hurried into his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. Lynn was lying on the bed, her legs propped up in an M and a seductive smile on her face. She gestured with her finger, and with a grin, he went to her, kneeling on the mattress and crawling between her legs.

It was a rare day when the stars aligned as they had this Thursday afternoon. Leni, Lori, and Luna went to the mall after school with some girls they knew, Mom was at work, Dad was running errands, the younger kids wouldn't be home for a half an hour, and Luan was choking on their dust a mile back. For the briefest of moments, they had the house all to themselves, and they were going to take advantage of it.

Biting her lower lip, Lynn grabbed Lincoln's shirt in both hands and pulled him into a kiss, her tongue shooting into his mouth and her lips pressing roughly against his. He kissed her back, their teeth scraping together. He was hungry for her, and he drank the taste of her mouth the way an alcoholic would drink a bottle of hooch after three days of horrible sobriety; it wasn't so much kissing as it was pillaging, their tongues needily ravishing the inside of each other's' mouths. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he fell forward, planting his hands on either side of her. She let go of him and pulled her shorts and underwear down, her heat issuing forth as if from an oven. Her smell filled his nostrils, and his penis throbbed against the crotch of his jeans, begging to be set free. He fumbled his zipper down.

"Be quick," she said.

"I can be quick," he said, "can _you_ be quick?"

"Oh, yeah," she nodded, "I've been saving it _all_ for you."

It had been close to a month since they last had sex; they crawled underneath the front porch on a Sunday afternoon and did it in the dirt. Not only was it uncomfortable (he was on top, his knees aching, and Lynn was on the bottom, dirt grinding into her butt crack), it was also painful...especially when the fire ants came out of their burrow and started stinging them. Neither was willing to crawl back out until they were done, though. Since then, Lincoln had not masturbated, as he wanted to be primed and ready whenever the opportunity presented itself: His sack was full and his head was already leaking.

He jerked down his pants and underwear. He scooted up so that his nose was almost touching hers and took his burning iron in his hand. She grinned up at him as he guided himself down the dampened center of her crease, her breath catching as he found her passageway and pressed against it. She was hot and wet and he gasped. "Fuck me," she said. "Please."

He started to slowly push into her. His head slipped into her canal, bulging against the satiny sheets of her insides. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she bit her lower lip again. God, she was...

Someone knocked on the door, and he jumped a foot. "Lincoln?" It was Luan.

Lynn's eyes, so recently pooled with desire, turned into icy pits of hatred.

"Lincoln? Dad needs your help with the groceries."

"Son of a bitch!" Lincoln screamed, punching the bed.

"He says now!"

Lynn sighed and threw her head back, running a jittery hand through her thick chestnut hair. Lincoln stayed where he was, panting with a mixture of rage, disappointment, and lust. He was a fraction of an inch in, his balls tight and his staff aching for release. He should just...

"Now, Lincoln!"

"I'm coming, goddamn it!"

"I'm not," Lynn said, pushing his off and sitting. Lincoln stood, pulled his pants up, and drew a deep, shivering breath. _I'm going to drop the eggs on purpose_ he thought, _and the milk too. I'm going to drop_ every _fuckingthing._

He motioned Lynn toward the space between the wall and his dresser. She got up and wedged herself in, drawing her knees to her chest. Standing at the door or just inside the room, you wouldn't be able to see her. It was a hiding spot she had used many times in the past during abortive trysts that ended just as this one had. When they first got home from the camping trip on which they "got together" their plan was to meet at night. Sounded like a fucking _amazing_ plan. There was one problem, though: The walls were thinner than cheese, and with eleven people in the house aside from them, someone was always up peeing, or going for a midnight snack or simply being used as a cock-blocking instrument by a cruel universe. They couldn't do it in his room, they couldn't do it in hers, they couldn't do it in the shower...where the fuck _could_ they do it?

Fuming, Lincoln ripped the door open. Luan jumped back, startled, her eyes wide. Then her brows knitted. "What were you doing in here that's _so_ important you had to cuss me out?"

"Masturbating," Lincoln said, and brushed past her.

"Ewwwww! God, Lincoln, TMI!"

"Don't ask unless you want an answer," he said as he went down the stairs. In the driveway, Dad stood by the back of the van, his hands on his hips. When he saw Lincoln, he nodded to the cargo hold.

"There's a lot."

Indeed there was: The entire space was filled with plastic bags on top of plastic bags. Jesus, did you leave anything for anyone else?

Crackling with energy that he'd _intended_ to spend on Lynn, he grabbed four bags at once and started for the house. Dad followed with two bags.

In the kitchen, he sat the bags on the table and then went back into the living room just as Lynn came down the stairs. She moved her shoes and Lincoln's backpack out of the way, then went outside. At the back of the van, she looked at him with sad eyes. "I'm going to explode."

"In anger or from not getting any?"

"Both," she said, and grabbed four bags just as Lincoln had.

"If there are eggs in there, drop them," he said. "Teach this guy a lesson."

Lynn cocked a grin over her shoulder. "I _like_ eggs, so I'm not dropping them. And if you drop them I'll pound your head in."

"I'll pound my head into _you_."

"I wish."

 _So do I,_ he thought with a sigh. His groin was already starting to ache. Blue balls...my old friend...how the hell are you? He grabbed four more grocery bags, brought them into the kitchen, then came back for another round. Goddamn. He got it, there were thirteen people in the house, but did they really eat so fucking _much_?

By the time he was done, the rest of his sisters were home, and the Loud house was filled with activity and chaos, like it was every afternoon. There was absolutely no chance of sneaking off for a quickie with Lynn without running a _very_ high risk of being caught. He wondered if Lisa could invent an invisibility cloak. _That_ would be nice. He and Lynn could throw it over themselves and hump like jackrabbits. Hmmmm. Lynn. He thought of the way her body felt when it was mashed against his, the way her mouth tasted, the noises she made as she tipped over the edge of her orgasm, sort of an "uh, uh, UH!" that was music to his ears. He felt his erection return, and sighed. Just two minutes. That's all I need, God, just two minutes alone with her...

* * *

Lynn Loud paced back and forth in her room, going from the door to the nightstand beside hers and Lucy's beds and back again. She was powered by nearly a month of pent-up steam; she wouldn't be surprised if some was curling out of her ears like in a cartoon. Her loins throbbed with need and her nipples were hard as rocks. Goosebumps covered her fevered body. Her mind was wonky. It was hard to think.

"Are you alright?" Lucy asked. She was sitting on her bed and reading a book.

"I'm fine," Lynn said tightly, but she wasn't. Oh, she was _far_ from it. She was so horny it _hurt_ , literally hurt. For weeks now the only thing on her mind was Lincoln, and with each mental vision of him, with each fantasy where his warm hands cupped her breast and the tips of his thumbs brushed her nipples, she got more turned on. If she didn't relive this pressure _soon_ , she was going to blow apart like a malfunctioning boiler.

 _Looks like I'm touching myself tonight,_ she thought bitterly. She didn't like touching herself. She liked _Lincoln_ touching her. Lincoln with his expert hands...sliding gently over her body, from the sides of her throat down her chest, to the juncture of her sex, down her legs, her feet...she shivered. God, her panties were _soaked_.

"This is hell," she croaked.

At dinner, she sat directly across from Lincoln and fucked him with her eyes. He caught her looking at one point, and she raised her eyebrows. He winked. Ummmm. The way he made her feel just by _looking_ at her. If only he could get her off by looking at her.

If this kept up much longer, his eyes probably _would_ make her cum. Ahhh. She was so close; a freight train perched precariously at the top of a steep grade. All she needed was one little push, and that train would barrel downhill like Judgement Day, screaming and totally, utterly, completely _unstoppable_. And when it hit the bottom...a shiver raced down her spine. Lincoln looked at her, and she licked her lips.

"How'd you do on that math test, Lynn?" Mom asked.

Math test? She couldn't remember any math test: Her brain was too full of...other things. "Good, mom," she said. That was probably a lie.

"Good. I'm proud of you."

She hooked the toe of her left shoe into the back of her right shoe and peeled it off. "Thanks, mom." She slouched in her chair and sent her foot out. When it brushed against Lincoln's, he started. He looked at her, and she grinned. She ran her foot over his, her socked toes slipping between the cuff of his pants and his leg. She could feel his warmth through thin cotton.

"You alright, Lynn?" Dad asked, his voice edged with concern.

"Yeah, just my back," she lied, "I think I messed it up at practice the other day. Stretching my legs makes it feel better." She sat back up, loath to break contact with her brother. "Yup. All better."

Later, in her room, she laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling, the flames of desire consuming her body. She squeezed her thighs together, and a pleasant little ripple spread out through her stomach. She took a hitching breath and glanced over at Lucy, her nose still buried in her book. Lynn ran her tongue along her bottom lip. Could she masturbate right here without Lucy noticing? The possibility that she _would_ excited her. She thought of being under the covers with Lincoln, him on top and thrusting into her, his muscles flexing under his supple flesh, and Lucy watching, her mouth open and her eyes wide made her so hot she could no longer stand it. She rolled away from her sister, sucked her lips in, and slipped a hand down the front of her shorts: She gasped when her middle finger grazed the swollen bud of her clitoris. She rubbed it, and lightning bolts of sensation streaked through her body. A cry bubbled up in her throat, but she leaned over and clamped her teeth on her pillow, stifling it.

She moved down the center of her fold, her nectar burning her fingertips like lava. She slid her middle finger in, and jerked. God, she was close, so, so, so close. She closed her legs against her hand and slowly but firmly pushed deeper into herself while rubbing her nub in a tight, rough circular motion with her thumb. The freight train rolled forward and tipped down the hill. It was coming, coming, oh, God, coming, gathering speed, going faster, faster, almost there...she bit down as it collided with her body. Her back arched and her knees bent, her toes curled, her muscles spasmed.

For a long time she lay on her side, her hand still clamped between her thighs. The thing about being horny, Lynn had found, is that it clouds your mind. When her brain was fogged with desire, she found the idea of Lucy watching her, or at least knowing what she was doing, extremely hot. But now, with a clear head, she found it mortifying. She dearly hoped that Lucy didn't look up from her book, and that she, Lynn, was as quiet and sly as she thought she was.

Finally, she forced herself to turn over.

If Lucy knew, she showed no sign.

Already, Lynn could feel arousal pooling deep in her core.

Damn it.

She needed to be fucked.


	2. It's a Gas

The next morning, Lincoln Loud woke in a foul mood. Man, this is bullshit. Finding the time to have sex with your sister shouldn't be this hard. Sitting against his pillow, he sighed and sullenly crossed his arms. What about under the bed? He leaned over and glanced into the space between his box spring and the floor. Hmmmm. Maybe if they laid on their sides...the closet was too small; they tried that already. The basement was okay. There was a spot behind the furnace that was out of the way, but the last time they did it there, Lynn bending over and bracing herself against the wall, Dad came down the stairs and started putzing around looking for something, and they froze. For a long time they remained perfectly still, Lincoln's member resting deep inside her. When Dad finally fucked off, they finished, but, man, that was close. What if dude came around the furnace and saw them?

He'd probably have a heart attack.

Sighing, Lincoln glanced at the alarm clock. 6:39am. Another sexless fucking day lie ahead. How'd I get so lucky? Swinging his legs out from under the covers, he got up, hurriedly dressed, and went out into the hall. Luna, Luan, Lucy, and Lynn were waiting in line for the bathroom. When Lincoln saw Lynn, his breath caught: She was wearing socks and an oversized jersey that stopped halfway down her thighs (fifty bucks says she's naked underneath). Her ponytail hung down the gentle slope of her neck. Her legs were smooth and toned. Damn it, he thought, balling one fist, why does she have to walk around looking like that?

He walked up behind and her and put his hands on her legs just below the hem of her shirt. Her skin was warm. So, so, so warm. She stiffened slightly, then melted back into him, her butt rubbing against the crotch of his jeans. He kissed her neck and ran his hands up her outer thighs, under her shirt, and to her hips. Yup. No panties. His penis twitched against her.

She pulled away, and he crossed his arms, glancing around to make sure no one had seen them. Leni came out of the bathroom, and Luna went in. It's always a fucking line, Lincoln thought with a roll of the eyes. Why in the name of God wasn't there another bathroom in this place? It was big enough. Five bedrooms and one shitter, not counting the one in Mom and Dad's room. What kind of a joke is that?

His bladder twinged, and he thought of going back into his room and pissing out the window. If Mr. Grouse saw him, though, he'd be _right_ on the phone to Dad. _Loud, your son flashed me again. Next time it happens I'm filing charges._ Old punk ass, snitching ass bitch.

When his turn finally came, he pissed and washed his hands. In the mirror over the sink, his face was a hard scowl. He needed sex, and _bad_. In his room, he pulled his shoes on and went downstairs, where his sisters were all gathered at the dining room table, talking loud, laughing loud, and arguing loud. He winced. Jesus, why can't you people shut up! He went to the counter where a line of cereal boxes stood in formation. Coco Pebbles. Empty. Fruity Pebbles. Empty. Even the Raisin Bran was empty. Flashing, Lincoln hit the Bran with an uppercut, and it flew off the counter.

"Lincoln!" Dad yelled from behind him, startling him. "Pick that up!"

He went over, bent, grabbed it, and tossed it into the trash.

"I don't like seeing that temper, young man. You need to tighten up."

 _You need to fuck off._

"Sorry."

He looked in the pantry and found a box of some cheap ass, generic shit called Rainbow Puffs that looked like it wanted to be Lucky Charms but got strung out on crack somewhere along the way, poured some into a bowl, and finished it off with milk. He carried it into the dining room and sat next to Lana.

"Lincoln, going for the rainbow cereal," Luan said with a mocking light in her eyes, "typical."

Lincoln's brow furrowed. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," she shrugged innocently.

"His favorite part is the marshmallow dicks," Lori said, and put a spoonful of Coco Pebbles into her mouth.

Lincoln shot her a dirty look. He was _so_ not in the mood to be roasted right now.

"He likes the way the cream filling shoots into his mouth," Luna added.

"I am _not_ in for his shit today," he said just as Dad walked in.

"Lincoln!"

"You didn't just hear what they were saying to me?" Lincoln asked, gesturing.

"No, but I heard what _you_ just said..."

"Whatever," he said, and got up. "Excuse me for existing." He went into the living room, grabbed his backpack, and went out the door. Fuck breakfast. He'd snatch a handful of grass from someone's yard like a rabbit.

"Jeez, can't he take a joke?" Lori asked.

"Well, you _were_ being a pack of stupid bitches," Lynn said, grabbing her bowl and Lincoln's.

"Oh, really?" Lori asked, looking at her.

"Yeah, really. If it were me I'd have knocked you out."

She went into the kitchen and sat their bowls in the sink. Once upon a time, she enjoyed ganging up on Lincoln with her sisters (she also enjoyed ganging up on her sisters _with_ Lincoln), but since they got together, it kind of pissed her off when they did that. _She_ was the only one allowed to pick on him. Maybe it was lack of sex, but right now she was actually kind of furious, anger burning in her chest like a raging inferno. Poor Lincoln couldn't even finish his fucking breakfast. Then, he gets yelled at.

 _It's just sibling banter, chill_.

Even so. Shaking her head, she went to the pantry, grabbed a sports bar, then went back into the dining room on her way to the kitchen.

"Lynn's favorite part of the day is showering with the other girls after practice," Lori said as she passed, and Lynn snapped.

"What the fuck did you just say?" she yelled, whipping around. Lori's eyes widened and she leaned back in her chair.

"Damn, I was just..."

"Keep playing and you're gonna wind up with a broken nose."

"Lynn!" Dad called from the living room.

"Why don't you yell at these assholes for calling me and Lincoln gay? You're okay with homophobia? You're a bigot, Dad. Burn any good crosses lately? Heil any good Hitlers?"

"Lynn Loud! You're grounded!"

"I'll consider myself lucky you aren't going to lynch me."

Before leaving the dining room, she jabbed her middle finger at Lori. "Fuck you," she mouthed.

Outside, the day was sunny and mild. She shrugged into her backpack and ran to catch up with Lincoln, who was already at the end of the street. "Wait up!" she called, and he stopped and turned. "Here," she panted, handing him the sports bar. "Since those assholes wouldn't let you finish your cereal."

A ghost of a smile touched Lincoln's lips. "Thanks."

"I don't want my favorite person to be hungry," she said and nudged him in the arm. They started walking, her hand creeping into his and their fingers intertwining.

"Thanks," he said again. "I really should have handled that better, but I'm not in a good mood."

"Neither am I," Lynn said. "Dad grounded me."

"What? Why?"

"Lori pulled the same shit on me that she did you and I kind of blew up. Dad yelled at me for cussing and I called him a bigot."

Lincoln laughed out loud. That was funny. _Really_ funny, actually. He imagined Dad's face, and laughed harder.

"It's not really funny. We have even _less_ opportunity to have sex now."

Lincoln stopped laughing real quick. "When you put it like that..." he sighed. It wasn't like their day was brimming with opportunities as it was.

"Well..." he started, but Lynn grabbed his arm.

"Speaking of sex, check it out!"

She pointed toward a stand of bushes along the sidewalk. It was at the edge of someone's front yard. "You wanna go in there and fuck me?"

Lincoln looked at the bushes, then at the house. The front window was not curtained. Through it, he saw an old lady sitting in an armchair, a pink shower cap on her head and crotchet needles in her (probably arthritic) hands. "Uhhh...there's someone in the window."

"So?"

"Really? 'So'? You wanna get arrested or something?"

Lynn sighed and squeezed his hand. "Come on, Linc. I'm _so_ fucking horny. I _need_ you. Bad."'

"I need you too," he said, and looked into her big brown eyes. "But..."

She pulled away and started toward the bush. "We'll be quick."

"Lynn!" He glanced at the window. The old lady stared ahead, as if at a TV, completely unaware of the brown-haired girl bending over her bush, spreading it apart and cocking her head. "It's hollow in here!" Lynn gave Lincoln a devilish smile over her shoulder. "Come on, Linc. Hot pussy, this way." Before Lincoln could protest, she disappeared into the bush.

Lincoln hung his head. His dick was hard and he needed release. His thinking, however, was just clear enough that he knew this was a _baaaad_ idea.

Then again...he wouldn't last very long, and neither would Lynn. Maybe they _could_ do it.

Resolved, he went over to the bush, ducked down so the old lady wouldn't see him if she happened to glance over, and wiggled inside. Lynn smiled when as he got situated. She was sitting Indian style, her hands on her bare knees. Lincoln's throat went dry and his heart started racing. She was so sexy.

"You ready, Linc?" she asked, leaning forward with half-lidded eyes.

Lincoln answered her by grabbing her chin, drawing her face close, and kissing her, their tongues mashing wetly together in an ungraceful, not very delicate greeting. She ran her fingers through his hair, and the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. She leaned back, her hair pooling around her head, and pulled her shorts aside, reveling her pink, glistening sex. "I'm all ready for you, Linc," she grinned.

Moving with a speed born of need and desperation, Lincoln ripped his pants and underwear down and mounted her, his tip poking her. Her heat enveloped him, and he shuddered. "Don't cum," she said.

"I'm not going to cum," he said as she took him in her hand and positioned him at her hole. He thrust, and Lynn jumped as he parted her damp lips and filled her. Her soft, wavering walls molded around his shaft, and he blew a puff of breath through clenched teeth. She threw her head back into the dirt and moaned. "Yes...God..."

Panting, Lincoln pulled back, the bulb of his head scouring her, and pushed forward again. She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes. A deep blush touched her cheeks. Lincoln's breathing was shallow, quick. He touched her face, propped now on one arm, and she turned her head, kissed his wrist.

"Those goddamn gophers," a brittle voice said from nearby. Lynn's eyes flew open and Lincoln froze mid-thrust. "Always in my yard."

Something shoved into the bush, and Lincoln jumped off of Lynn, his eyes widening as he recognized it: A nozzle. Suddenly, noxious green gas filled the space, choking them. Lynn scooted to her butt and waved a hand in front of her face, coughing. Lincoln yanked his pants up and fell backward, crashing through the laced branches and landing on the sidewalk. His eyes and nose burned, and his lungs were tight. Lynn scrambled over him and rolled into the street, hacking.

"You aren't gophers!" Lincoln opened his stinging eyes. The old lady, dressed in slippers and a fuzzy pink robe, glared over the top of the bush.

Lynn struggled to her feet, still coughing, and bolted.

"What were you doing in there?" the old woman demanded.

She started to come forward. Panicking, Lincoln rolled, pushed himself up, and staggered away as quickly as he could.

"Stay out of my bush, you hooligans!"

At the next street over, he leaned against a stop sign and rubbed his eyes. The burning had largely stopped, but they were sore as fuck. He took a deep, raspy breath, and launched into a coughing fit. What was that shit, mustard gas?

When he got himself under control, he looked around. Where was Lynn? His heart seized, and he crossed the street, cupping his hands to his mouth. "Lynn?"

He found her sitting against the gnarled trunk of an oak tree, his knees drawn to her chest and her face red. When he saw her, his stomach dropped. "Hey," he said, rushing over and kneeling down, "are you okay?"

"No," she said heavily. "This is really starting to get to me." She looked up at him with big, tearful eyes, and his heart broke. He put his hand to the side of her face and brushed her lips with his thumb.

"I know," he said. "It's getting to me too. We just need to..." he sighed. They needed to what? "Try harder," he said, voicing the first thought that came to his head.

"We're trying pretty damn hard right now," she said.

"I know," Lincoln admitted. "But...there's always room for improvement." That was something she was fond of saying. One thing he loved about her was her drive and determination to succeed, and that included her refusal to become complacent. She was always reaching higher, striving harder. It was endearing.

"Yeah," she sighed, "you're right."

"Of course I am," Lincoln said, taking her hand and helping her up. "Think of it as a challenge."

She grinned. "You're on, Loud."


	3. A Shhh It Day

_A challenge._

Lynn Loud sat at her desk, her legs crossed and her chin in her hand, her fingers drumming against her freckled cheek. When she met a challenge, she didn't stop until she surmounted it and made it her bitch, but this wasn't an ordinary challenge. In sports, you could always dig a little deeper and come up with one more ounce of determination to run faster, hit harder, jump farther. She couldn't do that here, because she and Lincoln were at the mercy of the universe. Lynn _hated_ feeling helpless. She wasn't a passive person, she didn't just sit with her thumb up her butt and let things happen, she went out and _made_ them happen. Finding the time to be with Lincoln was different. It was a case where you can bring a horse to water but not make him drink. She could bring her crotch to his, but there was always some bullshit extenuating circumstance that got in the way.

Well...now that she thought about it, it _was_ kind of like football. In football, you get the ball and run down the field while the opposing team tries to stop you. In hers and Lincoln's relationship, it was the same: They ran down the field toward that glorious end zone while people (and circumstance) tried to stop them. It was easier to avoid a linebacker than it was to avoid Dad coming home and needing help with the groceries, though.

But whatever. The going was tough, so she would be _tougher_. She called up a rough floorplan of the house in her mind's eye. Surely there had to be a quiet corner where a brother and sister can have sex without being disturbed. Let's see...there was the attic, but Lucy often went up there to revel in the darkness like the weirdo she was, and you wouldn't know she was there until she came out of the shadows and scared you half to death. The garage? No, Luna used it to practice. Lynn imagined her coming in just as she and Lincoln were starting to get hot and heavy, and cringed. The shed? Lynn rolled her eyes thoughtfully toward the ceiling. No one really went in there that she knew of, though it was directly in sight of the back door, and the backyard was pretty busy during the day.

She sighed.

 _Think outside the box, Loud._

They could always go to the park. There were a lot of forest trails that not many people used. The downside was that they would have to do it literally in the middle of underbrush and shit. The movie theater? If they sat in an out-of-the-way corner, she could get on top of him...it was dark, after all. Hell, if they got a whole row to themselves, he could just lay her on the floor: Maybe her mind was clouded with desire, but the idea of getting gum and popcorn in her hair while Lincoln fucked her was kind of hot. She'd probably regret it as soon as she got her release, but right now, after having him inside of her but not finishing _twice_ , she didn't care. Hell, she'd let him do her on...

An idea struck her, and she sat up straight, her mind working. Yeah, sure! That would work. It might be a little uncomfortable, but they'd get off, and that's all that mattered right now.

She settled back in her chair and crossed her arms, a crooked grin on her face. She was proud of herself. Whenever a challenge presented itself, Lynn Loud made it her bitch. And right now, it was looking like her current problem was _firmly_ her bitch. All that was left was making it through the day. Her loins tingled, crying out for Lincoln. God, he was actually _inside_ of her, _thrusting_. She thought back to the feeling of his gland pulsing hotly against her walls, and she felt herself beginning to dampen. She shifted in her seat and squeezed her thighs closed, tendrils of fire creeping along the inside of her stomach. Oh, God, please, think of something else. _Anything_ else.

She turned her mind to football. Yeah. Good old football. She closed her eyes and imagined herself running the ball down the field, knocking opposing players out of the way. She was close to the end zone, she was going to make it, MVP, hero of the day...but, damn, she was got tackled.

By Lincoln. He was on top of her, his arms planted in the turf. She could feel his bulge resting against her crotch.

Lynn opened her eyes and crossed her arms. This sucked.

 _It's only for a little while longer. After school..._

Oh, yes, after school...she would bend over, pull her shorts down to her knees, and hang on as Lincoln pierced her center. A shudder ran through her and the spot between her legs quivered.

 _Stop it!_

Alright. Okay. No more.

Five minutes later, she was thinking about it again...

* * *

"Dude, you okay?" Clyde asked. They were sitting at the usual table in the cafeteria: It was against one wall and largely ignored by the other kids. Lincoln liked it that way; this school was full of assholes and losers anyway.

"I'm fine," Lincoln said, picking up his milk. The truth was: He _wasn't_ fine. His balls ached like a motherfucker and he felt like he was going to puke. He was starting to get really fucking sick of blue balls.

He took a swig of milk then sat the carton back down. He frowned at his lunch. Even if he wasn't sick to his stomach, he wouldn't touch this crap with a ten foot pole. What the fuck were they feeding schoolkids? Take this fucking thing. It looked like a slab of horse meat. And the gravy. He bent over and sniffed. Smelled like turpentine. In the next compartment over was a smattering of green beans that looked like a vegan vampire had a go at them: They were anemic and dry. Jesus, they get better food in prison.

"You don't _look_ fine," Clyde said.

Lincoln started to verbally tear his head off but stopped himself. Deep breath. In, out. "I'm just in a shitty mood."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Clyde said. "What's up?"

 _Well, Clyde, every time I try to have sex with Lynn, you know, my sister, some dumb shit happens and neither one of us gets off. Yesterday Dad needed help with the groceries, and today some old bitch went full Assad on us. What's next, an earthquake? A tornado? My sack's so full of nut it's about to burst, but I don't want to jack off because I want to be primed and ready to go on the off chance Lynn and I get two seconds alone._

"I don't want to talk about it," Lincoln said. "Just never mind."

"Talking about your problems is cathartic, Lincoln. Dr. Lopez says..."

"Dr. Lopez can go to hell," Lincoln said, and Clyde recoiled as if slapped. Lincoln polished off his milk and let out a loud burp. He started to get up, but stopped when he saw Lynn coming toward him. There was a light in her eyes.

"Hey, Linc!" she said, and punched him in the arm. "How's it going?"

"It was going fine until you just broke my fucking arm."

"Sorry. I'm just excited." She leaned in. "Meet me on the athletic field after school." She leaned closer still, her breath hot on his neck, her lips brushing against his ear. "I know where we can do it."

Lincoln's heart bounced. She stood up straight, grinned down at him...and punched his arm again. She bolted before he could retaliate. Oh, no, fuck that. He grabbed a handful of green beans and launched them after her: They hit her in the back, one lodging in her hair.

The rest of the day dragged. Lincoln sat in class and wondered what Lynn had in mind. He hoped this place they could "do it" wasn't behind the bleachers, because he really didn't feel like being caught doing his sister. That would be embarrassing. He imagined the looks on Mom and Dad's faces when the principal called them. _We found your son and daughter...doing something on the athletic field._

 _What were they doing?_

 _Each other._

Then again...his balls were sore as shit and his mood sucked. He'd totally do her behind the bleachers if that's what she had in mind. An image flashed across his mind: Lynn bent before him and looking sexily over her shoulder, her eyes narrow and her lips slightly parted. Her ponytail hung down the back of her neck, and her shoulder blades flexed under her smooth, freckled skin. He ran a trembling hand through his hair and took a deep breath. You need to stop thinking like this, Lincoln, or else you're going to pop a nut right here.

When the final bell rang, he got out of his chair so quickly his feet tangled and he went down to his knees with a hissed, "Shit." A bunch of other kids pointed and laughed. "Fuck you," he said, getting up and brushing himself off.

He fought his way through the hall to the side door overlooking the athletic field. In the distance was a stand of bleachers fifty feet high with a little announcer booth on top. He went through the door and crossed the grass, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching. As he approached, he spotted Lynn leaning on a metal support at the corner of the bleachers. She grinned as he walked up.

"Lincoln!" she said happily. "My man! You ready for some fun?"

"If it involves sex, yes," he said, and they kissed, their tongues darting over one another. Lynn pulled away and took a few steps back, then gestured to a point behind the bleachers. "Here it is, bro. Our own personal love shack."

He walked over and looked, his smile falling. "Uh, Lynn?"

"Yeah, lover boy?"

"That's a port-a-potty."

A wide blue port-a-potty with a white roof sat off to the side. It looked like the kind that was meant to accommodate the handicapped.

"So?" Lynn asked.

Lincoln was speechless. Literally speechless. "It's a shithouse."

She rolled her eyes. "Lincoln, I don't know about you, but _I_ really don't care at this point. Okay, beggers can't be choosers. It's either the port-a-potty or nothing."

Lincoln sighed deeply and looked at the plastic poop-box. She was right, he'd give her that. "What if we tip it over?"

"I use it all the time, it's fine."

His penis was bursting against the seam of his jeans, his achy balls demanding to be emptied. "Alright," he said, "fine. Let's go."

A sunny smile spread across her face and she led him by the hand. When she opened the door, a wave of butt smell punched him in the face, and his nose crinkled. "Jesus, Lynn."

"Just ignore it," she said. "If we can get off with fire ants biting our asses, we can get off with this."

"I wonder how much of this smell is your doing," he said as he shut the door behind him and locked it.

"Probably a lot," she said. She pulled down her shorts and underwear. Lincoln's penis twitched at the sight of her bare behind. She bent, splaying her hands on the shelf where the toilet was set, and looked over her shoulder, her bottom lip between her teeth.

Ummhmmmummm. Lincoln unzipped his pants and let them fall to his ankles. His bulge pushed insistently against the fabric of his briefs. He hooked his thumbs into them and slowly pulled them down, a grin pulling at the corners of Lynn's mouth as he popped free; the cool air against his fevered skin sent a shiver down his spine. He took a step forward and grabbed his sister's hips. She threw her head back, her ponytail falling to the side and hanging down her shoulder. "Ummm, I love it when you grab my hips like that."

"Yeah?" he asked mischievously as he prodded her with his head. "How do you like _that?_ "

"I _love_ it."

He reached down and guided himself to her entrance, her flesh searing and wet. He sank slightly in, then grabbed her hips and pushed the rest of the way, her walls quivering as he passed. She drew a sharp intake of breath and shuddered. Lincoln bit the insides of his mouth and tried to think of something, anything to keep himself from busting too soon. This was easier said than done, since Lynn was tighter than Mick Swagger's jeans...hot and damp, too. Felt like his dick was being strangled by a rainforest.

"Damn, Linc," she sighed.

He pulled back, then thrust forward again, bottoming out and hitting her limit. She let out a tiny "eek!" and nearly fell over. He pulled back then surged forward again. She pushed back to meet him, and together they found a lightheaded rhythm. "Faster," she gasped, and Lincoln went faster. "Faster!" Lincoln went faster still.

They were so lost in their passion that they didn't notice the port-a-potty rocking dangerously until, with one mighty thrust, it reached its tipping point and started to fall. Lynn screamed, and Lincoln fell against her, his staff going as far as it could; his heart jumped into his throat, and he held onto Lynn's hips for dear life, thinking _I fucking knew it_. Then, with a jarring crash, they hit the ground, and warm sewage swept over them. "Oh, God!" Lynn screamed, then made a _glug, glug_ sound as her face was submerged. The wave hit the ceiling, which was now the wall, and came back, cresting over a wide-eyed Lincoln and knocking him under. The taste of a thousand butts filled his mouth.

Panicking, he pushed himself up. Standing, his back hunched, the brown sludge reached halfway to his knees. Lynn was on her hands and knees, coughing and trembling like a wet dog. Her hair was soaked, tiny turds and pieces of toilet paper stuck in her chestnut locks. Lincoln looked down and jerked: A wad of toilet paper hung from the tip of his dick. He pushed it off with an "Ugh!" of disgust.

The smell was terrible.

"I should have known," Lynn said in an even voice. "God forbid we have sex."

"I told you..."

" _I KNOW YOU FUCKING TOLD ME!"_ she screamed over her shoulder.

Shoulda listened. Instead of saying this, however, he pulled his pants up and wiped shit water from his eyes. "One day we'll look back on this and laugh," he offered. It wasn't much, but it was all he had.

"I won't," she said, getting to her feet and looking around. Her bangs were plastered to her forehead. Beads of brown water streaked her face. "Where are my shorts?"

While she looked, Lincoln reached up, undid the latch, and pushed the door open. Bracing his arms on both sides of the frame, he lifted himself up and climbed out, sliding down the side. Lynn followed, standing and jumping off, landing next to him on her hands and feet. She stood up and looked at him.

Then she started to cry, and a blade of agony struck his heart. He took her in his arms and held her close as sobs wracked her body, her shoulders shaking. As she wept, he picked pieces of toilet paper out of her hair. When the tears tapered off to sniffles, he held her at arm's length and smiled. "I love you, Lynn."

"I love you too," she said, and touched his face.

He kissed her wrist. It tasted like ass. Literally. "Let's go. We need a shower."

The walk home was the longest of their lives. The stench of shit, failed sex, and desperation clung to them like Spandex. A few people walking down the sidewalk gave them funny looks. When the smell hit them, they gagged and covered their noses.

Twenty minutes after setting out, they walked through the front door. Of course, all of their sisters were bunched up on the couch because why not? Bring in the aunts and uncles and cousins and all their friends too. Let _everyone_ see Lincoln and Lynn covered in shit.

Lori turned, and her jaw dropped. "What happened to _you?"_

Everyone else turned. Their reactions ranged from horror and disgust to open amusement.

"We had an accident," Lynn said tightly, starting up the stairs.

"Well, _that_ stinks," Luan said.

"I swear to fucking God," Lynn said, leaning over the bannister, "I will jump over this thing and whip your ass."

"Haven't you had enough ass for one day?" Luna asked, and everyone laughed except Lincoln and Lynn.

Lynn growled and balled her fists before stomping up the stairs. Lincoln followed, his head hung in shame.

He sat on the floor outside of his room for a half an hour before Lynn was done in the shower. The water was cold, but he didn't care. Cold showers were good when you were turned on, right? Because he didn't get to cum, and neither did Lynn...

What a shit day.


	4. Day at the Museum

**To everyone asking why Lincoln and Lynn don't just get a motel room: She's thirteen and he's eleven. No one is going to rent to them. Hell, I tried to get a motel room when I was twenty and they turned** _ **me**_ **away.**

 **Also, AberrantScript: Here be mummies...  
**

* * *

Lynn Loud passed a sleepless night in physical pain. Her skin was flush, her heart slammed, and her loins throbbed hotly. When she closed her legs, tingles went up her spine. When she opened them, tingles went up her spine. Thoughts raced through her head, thoughts of what she would do to her brother if he was here under the blankets with her, of what she would let _him_ do to _her_.

Everything. Right now, in the burning midst of mindless arousal, she would let him do anything he wanted. Hit me? Okay. Pull my hair? Okay. Fuck my ass? Okay. Whatever you want, just fill me with your hot, sticky _cuuuuuummmmm_. She shivered as she thought of the way it felt as it splattered the back of her womb. She squeezed her thighs together and rubbed her legs, her breath coming in hot gasps.

She reached down and touched herself, but pulled her hand back, ashamed. She knew Lincoln was holding his in for her, and it seemed wrong for her to have release and not him. She didn't know how he did it, though. If he was being honest about not masturbating since they last had sex, that meant he had a month's worth of lead built up in his balls. She could barely go two or three days without making herself cum.

Well...starting now, she would. She rolled onto her side and buried her face in the pillow. Don't think about it. Count sheep. Count...footballs, something, _anything_. A penis appeared in her mind. Lincoln's penis. It hopped over a little rail fence, followed by another.

"God _damn_ it," she growled and flopped onto her back. Her throat was tacky, her lips dry. She got up and went downstairs. Without turning on a single light, she went into the kitchen, got a glass from the cabinet above the sink, and filled it with tapwater. She took a long drink.

She should go get Lincoln and take him into the basement. Yeah! That would work! They'd have to be _super_ quiet so no moans were carried up through the vents and into the wrong ears, but she'd shove a sock in her mouth or something. Trembling with excitement, she put the glass in the sink and ran up the stairs, her heart crashing and breaking when she saw light spilling from Lisa's room. "It's okay, Lisa," she heard her father saying, "it was just a nightmare."

"I don't know what else one would call thermonuclear war," Lisa replied flatly.

"I'll sit with you until you fall asleep. Even if it takes all night."

Lynn sighed. Really? Well, maybe if they were really quiet...she took a step toward Lincoln's room on her tippy-toes, and a floorboard creaked.

"Who's out there?" Dad called sharply.

Lynn's shoulders slumped. "Just me," she sighed. She lingered for a moment at Lincoln's door, imagining him inside, naked and warm under the covers. Oooh, she wanted him _so bad!_

Back in bed, she tried to catch her runaway breath and calm down, but it was hopeless: Her eyelids were heavy and her body weary, but she couldn't drift off. She considered masturbating, but steeled her resolve and rolled over and faced the wall.

She must have dropped off, because she was next to Lincoln, her hand sliding down his chest, his stomach, his skin tightening under her touch. When she reached his penis, she snapped awake. _I can't even get laid in my dreams!_ She sat up, the fabric of her skirt rubbing roughly against her hard nipples. For a long time she sat Indian style, her head thrown back and her hands resting on the scorching flesh of her thighs.

There's always tomorrow, she thought. Tomorrow was Saturday, and when she came home from school that afternoon, Dad ungrounded her. _Lori told me everything, so I'm going to call it even and let you off with a stern warning, young lady._ Therefore, she and Linc would have the whole day to find the time. A whole day.

She had to remember to thank Lori. Telling Dad the truth was really big of her. Not just that, but by doing so she unwittingly freed Lynn for some (possible) frisky fun time.

Where could they go? she wondered. There had to be _somewhere_ in Royal Woods two horny siblings could get it on. She searched her mind, and fell asleep shortly thereafter...

* * *

At breakfast, Dad stood and held up a hand. "Alright, everyone, listen up."

Lincoln took a bite of Rainbow Puffs and ignored his father. He really didn't care what he had to say right now.

"When everyone's finished, I want you to get ready to go. I have a special trip planned."

Lincoln threw back his head and moaned. Lovely...piling into that hunk of rust van with all fifty of his sisters and driving off into the sunset, _away_ from all of the places he and Lynn could do it, was _exactly_ what he wanted to do with his day.

Across the table, Lynn's shoulders slumped.

"You object, Lincoln and Lynn?" Dad asked, his brow knitting.

"No," Lincoln said. "Nevermind."

"I'm good," Lynn sighed.

Dad stared at them for a moment longer. "Good," he said, then scanned the faces of the rest of his children, "because we're going to have _oodles_ of family fun."

Aw, Jesus. Lincoln didn't know much about the world, but he _did_ know that things that came in 'oodles' had a tendency to suck. Lynn pouted at him. _I know, honey, this shit's ridiculous_. When he was done, he finished his cereal, took his bowl to the sink, and went upstairs. He should really pound off before they left. He was in a bad fucking mood and he didn't like it...but what if he found some time with Lynn? He didn't want to waste his nut and disappoint her. He sighed. Whatever. Could that shit back up into your bloodstream? He imagined getting a papercut and bleeding white. Ugh. He'd have to Google that later.

A half an hour later, Dad called up the stairs that it was time to go. Lincoln went down and got to the van first for once. He climbed in and went to the back, where he sat by the window. His sisters followed one-by-one. When he saw Lynn, he nodded, and she nodded back; she came over and sat next to him. She didn't wear perfume, but damn, she smelled good. "Hey, Linc," she said, and cocked her fist.

"Don't fucking hit me," he said.

A wounded expression crossed her face, and Lincoln felt bad. "Okay...hit me."

She grinned and punched him in the arm. He'd never been shot before, but he imagined that it didn't feel much different. He rubbed his arm and sighed. "Happy now?"

"Umm...no."

She leaned close to his ear. "If no one else sits back here, we can play with each other."

In the row ahead of them, Luna bobbed her head to the music filtering through her headphones. Lori was bent over her phone, texting Bobby (seriously, that's all she ever did, it was sad). Lisa sat between them, her arms crossed. She was so short that she would have to turn around and kneel just to see over the back of the seat.

"I don't know," Lincoln said, "we..."

Lynn ducked down, and then popped back up, a wool afghan in her hands. Grinning, she spread it out over their laps. Lincoln couldn't help but be impressed. Boy, when Lynn put her mind to something...

Lucy sat down next to Lynn and buckled her seatbelt. She sighed and stared out the window. Lincoln's first reaction was to get mad, but of all the sisters who could have wound up next to them, Lucy was actually the best. She wouldn't pay any attention, and if they were _very_ careful, they could at the very least rub each other off. Lincoln wanted the full thing, but he'd settle for a handie at this point.

Mom and Dad climbed into the van and slammed their doors. Dad started the engine, glanced back, and reversed into the street. Under the blanket, Lynn touched his hand, and he looked at her. She nodded and licked her bottom lip: Her hand crept into his lap and her nimble fingers traced the outline of his bulge. He rested his hand on her bare thigh and squeezed. So warm. So soft. She unzipped his pants, and he slid them down just far enough for his hard dick to come free. She slid down her shorts, and he cupped her bare sex in his hand. It was hot against his palm.

She took him in her hand and stroked his shaft, lightly running her thumb along the pulsing vein. Lincoln took a shivery breath and sank his middle finger in-between his sister's folds. She spread her legs to allow him easier access, and he rubbed the bloom of her clit. She clenched her teeth and bowed her head, her strokes deepening, long, slow, firm, making Lincoln dizzy. He put his middle finger in her and pressed his palm against her clit. She sighed and shook her head.

The van came to a stop. "Okay, we're here!"

 _WHAT?_

Lynn looked at him, her face red and her eyes wide with near insanity. Three miles, they went three miles...if that.

Sighing, Lynn pulled her hand out of Lincoln's pants. His dick twitched. _Hey, baby, where you going?_

Lincoln removed his fingers from her crotch and brought them to his lips without even thinking. He licked them, and Lynn's eyes widened. Her taste filled his mouth. "That's hot," she whispered.

"Everyone out," Dad said, throwing open the door.

Where the fuck were they? The only place they could be was...

"Oh, yes!" Lisa cried, pumping her fist. Lincoln bent his head and looked out the windshield.

"Royal Woods Museum of History," he read, "oh, God."

"Really?" Lynn asked with a sigh. "Why not just drop us off at school?"

"What is it with you two?" Mom asked, her eyes narrowed in the rearview mirror. "You have been nothing but attitude for a week. It's getting _really_ old."

"It'll be fun," Lucy said, "there's a mummy exhibit."

"Yeah, because dead people are _so_ cool," Lynn said.

"Yes they are."

Outside, Lincoln stretched. His erection had gone away, but his nuts hurt. _I swear to God, one more case of blue balls and I'm going to kill someone._

"I am _stoked_ ," Lisa said, her fists balled and her eyes wide. "The Egyptian Dynasty exhibit is _sure_ to be fascinating."

"I didn't even know it was in town," Luan said. "I guess they really kept it _under wraps_."

Everyone groaned.

"Sorry, I'll be quiet. _Mum's_ the word."

"Dude, stop," Luna said. They were approaching the front entrance now. A sign stood by the glass double doors. EGYPTIAN DYNASTY EXHIBIT. MAY 12-AUG 18.

Inside, the lobby was vast and vaulted, the floor gleaming marble and the woodwork shimmering oak. A giant T-Rex skeleton dominated the space.

"I'd make a boner pun," Lynn said, leaning close to Lincoln, "but I don't know any."

"Please don't. I can't handle another Luan."

"Alright, kids," Mom said, "go off and explore. We'll meet back here in an hour."

"Just an hour?" Lisa asked as she, Mom, Dad, Lilly, Lana, Lola, and Lucy started toward the mummy exhibit. "I could stay here _all day_."

"So...like...what do we do?" Leni asked.

"Just walk around and try not to die of boredom," Lori said, still bent over her phone. She wandered off, and Luna and Luan followed. Leni turned and looked up at the T-Rex. "What happened to his skin?"

"I don't know. Why don't you go look for it?" Lynn said, grabbing Lincoln's hand.

"Okay!"

While Leni looked around for a skin that did not exist, her finger against her chin, Lynn dragged Lincoln into the next room, where a huge Revolutionary War display was set up: Glass cases flanked the walls, stuffed with musket balls, belt buckles, brass buttons, knives, and other artefacts. Mannequins were dressed in British and Continental Army uniforms, rifles propped against their shoulders. Lincoln glanced around. He would be interested in he wasn't so fucking horny.

The room was empty save for a janitor way over by the elevator; he was wiping down a set of glass doors with a rag, totally oblivious to their presence.

"Let's find somewhere and do this," Lynn said. "I'm going to lose my goddamn mind if we keep getting fucked up."

They walked around the room. "Check it out!" she said, pointing. A little alcove was set in the wall. It was five feet deep and curved slightly, creating a walled space. Lynn poked her head in and looked around. "Oh, yeah," she panted, and dragged Lincoln into a kiss. Animal passion came over him, and he shoved her against the wall and kissed her, his hands gripping her hips. She grinded her crotch against his, lifting her leg; Lincoln wrapped his arm around and held it as he dry-humped her. "Yes," she panted when he broke from her lips and started kissing her warm, pulsating throat. She ran her fingertips through his hair. "God, Lincoln, please...I need this so bad..."

"So do I," he whispered, and took her earlobe between his lips. She sighed and thrust her hips against him. He let go of her and turned her around so that she faced away from. He pulled down her shorts and underwear with shaky hands. She braced herself against the wall and thrust out her behind. Lincoln pulled out his member and, without preamble (because who the fuck has that kind of time?) pushed into her.

"Oooooh, yes," Lynn gasped. "We better not get interrupted this time."

Neither one of them noticed the camera in the corner until a husky voice issued from it: "Hey...hey, you...with the white hair."

Lincoln jumped, and Lynn whipped around, her eyes wide.

For a moment, the line was filled with heavy breathing. "Put it in her butt..."

Lynn hurriedly yanked up her shorts. "Fuck _this_ ," she said and brushed past Lincoln, leaving him alone, his dick poking out.

Hey..." the voice said, "...where are you going?"

"Nice job, asshole," Lincoln said, putting his hands on his hips and glaring up at the camera.

"Sorry," the voice came back, "I just got excited is all."

Shaking his head, he went after Lynn and found her sitting on a bench next to a War of 1812 display; she was bent and breathing heavy. Lincoln sank next to her, put his hands between his thighs, and leaned forward. His nuts were achy, but you know what? By this point he was used to it.

"I'm gonna go crazy," Lynn said hollowly. She grabbed her hair with both hands and pulled. "I'm so fucking hot, Lincoln, I can't stand it." She looked up at him. Tears shimmered in her eyes. "I want you so bad."

"I know," he nodded, and took her hand, threading his fingers through hers. "You know how much my balls hurt? Every time we try and something interrupts us, they feel like someone kicked the shit out of them."

"I'm sorry," she said miserably and leaned against him.

"It's not your fault," he replied, slipping his arm around her shoulder.

"I love you," she said, and looked up at him.

"I love you too," he replied, and kissed her, her lips soft and wet against his.

"Aww," someone said, and they both started.

"I'm beginning to see why you're both in such shitty moods all the time," Lori said...


	5. Will This Torture Ever End?

**STR2D3PO: I think a lot of motels require you to be at least 22 or 23 to rent a room. Why, I don't know.**

 **Spencer Night: I was not aware he had a treehouse. They'd probably get interrupted up there too somehow.**

 **ThatOneGuy: Yes, I am.** _ **Very**_ **tortured.**

* * *

Lynn's grasp on Lincoln's hand tightened. Lincoln gulped and looked away from his oldest sister, his cheeks burning with shame. His heart was beating fast, like a rabbit's as a hungry fox slowly closed in.

"I never thought it was _this_ ," Lori said, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her cargo shorts. She sighed. "Really, Lynn? Your own brother?"

Lynn bowed her head, and Lincoln squeezed her hand.

Lori turned to him. "Your own sister?"

"Yes," he said defiantly, meeting her gaze. "My own sister."

Lori shook her head and crossed her arms. "How long?"

"Since the camping trip," Lynn said.

The oldest Loud daughter cocked her head. "You know, I always did think you guys were a little chummy on that trip." She sat down next to Lincoln, who stiffened, and looked down at her feet. "This is wrong, you know that, right?"

"Says who?" Lincoln asked. "Lynn and I are perfectly happy, and that's all that matters. Not what anyone else thinks." He paused. "Not what _you_ think."

Without looking up, Lori nodded. "Alright," she said, "if that's how you feel."

"Please don't tell Mom and Dad," Lynn said, her voice weak. She was still staring down at the floor.

"I'm not going to tell Mom and Dad," Lori said. "God, you act like I'm this huge bitch out to make your lives difficult." She stopped talking, looked up at the ceiling, and said, "Okay, I _can_ be a little bit of a bitch sometimes, but it's not like I'm trying to be a monster or anything." She glanced at Lincoln. "I-I care about you guys. All of you. Believe it or not. And that's why the thought of my eleven-year-old brother and my thirteen-year-old sister having sex – with anyone – kind of gets under my skin. You guys are _way_ too young for that. God, do you even know what you're _doing_?"

Lincoln nodded.

"Do you use protection?"

"No," Lynn said.

Lori sighed. "Jesus. You realize you could get _pregnant_? That alone is bad enough, but with your _brother?_ That kid's gonna come out with tentacles."

For some reason he couldn't explain, that last comment deeply offended Lincoln. His fists clutched and he had to bite his bottom lip lest he call his sister a word that started with 'C' and ended with 'unt.'

"When's the last time you had sex?"

"About a month," Lincoln said.

"How are you feeling, Lynn? Any nausea?"

"I had my period last week," Lynn said. "I'm not pregnant."

"You're damn lucky," Lori said. "You think Mom and Dad will mad if _I_ tell them, imagine how they'll react if they found out when you came to them _pregnant_." She leaned forward and rested her hands on her knees. "If you guys wanna...do whatever, go for it, but you need to get smart real fucking quick because this isn't a game. This is serious shit."

Lincoln let her words sink in. Though he kind of hated to admit it, she had a point. He and Lynn had slept together a total of seven times (if you count failed attempts like the one in the alcove, which was technically 'having sex' even though neither one finished, it was more like twenty), and never once did they use protection. He pulled out...for the most part. Their first time back home he didn't, but that was only because Lynn wrapped her legs around him and didn't hear him when he told her to let go. They did that two more times, because it felt _sooo_ good. They were _very_ lucky.

Man, if Lynn caught pregnant, shit would hit the fan. He didn't know how, exactly, because he didn't like to seriously consider what his parents would do if they found out, but he imagined they wouldn't take it too well. Add to that a pregnancy? Shew. He and Lynn would probably wind up in shallow graves under the shed.

Lincoln started when he felt Lori's arm wrap around his shoulder. "I love you guys. I might not always show it and I might bust your balls, but I'm your older sister. That's my job." She gave Lincoln a nugie, _really_ grinding her knuckles in.

"Ow, goddamn!"

She laughed and reached around his back to squeeze Lynn's arm. Lynn looked at her and offered a smile.

"As much as I hate to even think about it...no offense...you guys seriously need to have sex if this is how you're going to act without it. You two are _literally_ getting on everyone's last nerve."

"That's easier said than done," Lincoln said. "Do you know how many times we've tried in the past couple days?"

Lori blinked. "Oh...is...is that why you both came home covered in shit yesterday?"

Lincoln nodded. "Port-a-potty."

"Well, _that_ was stupid."

"It was Lynn's idea."

"You were the one going too fast."

"You were the one telling me to go faster."

"Gross!" Lori said, throwing her hands up. "I don't want to hear this."

Lincoln shrugged. "It's just been difficult."

"I can imagine," Lori said. "Privacy isn't exactly something we get a lot of. Especially _that_ kind of privacy."

She stood. "I'm sure you two will figure it out, though. I'm going to find the bathroom." She started back the way she had come, but stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Just make sure you use protection this time, okay?"

Lincoln lifted his hand. "Will do."

"Sure thing," Lynn added.

When Lori was gone, Lincoln looked at his sister. "You think she's really not going to tell?"

"I don't think she will," Lynn sighed. "At least I _hope_ she won't."

* * *

They wound up staying at the museum for two hours instead of one; everyone was bored to tears, but no one had the heart to kick up a stink because Lisa was having such a blast. They might give each other a hard time, Lincoln reflected as he and Lynn toured the mummy exhibit, but at the end of the day, they loved and cared for one another.

After the museum, they went out for ice cream then to the park. Lincoln was in the mood for neither. He just wanted to get home and...what? Fail at having sex with Lynn again? Better to fail than not to try at all, he guessed, though the blue balls were starting to become a little much. He resolved that if midnight rolled around and he and Lynn still hadn't made it, he was going to jack off. He told her as much as they tossed a football back and forth in a wide, grassy field. The others were off doing their own thing. Lincoln had no idea what, but they were always within earshot, always within sight. Luan doing...something...Luna...was she dancing? Either that or she was having a Grand Mal seizure.

"If you're in that much pain, do it," Lynn said and tossed him the ball. "I got myself off the other night."

He jumped up and snagged the ball out of the air. "I just don't want to waste it and, you know, have nothing if we get the time." He chucked the ball, and she grabbed it.

"Like you said, do it at midnight. You'll have some worked up by morning. Remember that camping trip? We did it twice, once at night, then the next morning." She threw the ball, and he went for it, but missed; it tumbled end-over-end through the grass. He ran after it, bent, and picked it up.

"I want _you_ to do it," he said and snapped the ball. Lynn jumped up and grabbed it. Damn, he'd been trying to get her to fumble for twenty minutes.

"So do I, Linc. So do I.

They left the park after one, and got home fifteen minutes later; the Loud kids spread out from the front door and went in a half dozen different directions. Lincoln started up the stairs, but Lynn grabbed him by the arm. "Wanna go play some ball?" she asked.

"We just played ball for, like, an hour."

Lynn glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one could overhear, then turned back to him. "I don't mean _that_ kind of ball."

"You mean blue balls," he said. "It's like Charlie Brown, when Lucy holds the football in front of him but takes it away at the last second..."

"It's not my fault, Lincoln!" she flashed. Lincoln flinched. Damn.

Lynn blinked, remorse in her eyes. "I'm sorry. Just...come on."

"Alright."

Outside, the backyard stood empty. Birds soared overhead, flecks of black against dusty blue. From somewhere, the sounds of children's laughter and a running lawnmower drifted to them. Lincoln sniffed the air and got the vaguest suggestion of freshly cut grass. Oh, yeah. That shit was like crack. He took another deep breath.

"Come on," Lynn said. She grabbed him by the hand and led him to the shed. Lincoln threw a glance over his shoulder; he didn't see anyone watching them, but that didn't mean much. She opened the door and virtually dragged him in. The air was redolent of sawdust and motor oil. Lincoln looked around. Every time he came in here there seemed to be more junk. A workbench was heaped with tools and broken toys, a snowblower sat disused in a corner, boxes upon boxes of God knows what were stacked all around, ten deep in places. "Over here," Lynn said, yanking him from his thoughts. She led him behind a stack of boxes. There was a space between them and the wall large enough for them to sit.

"Cop a squat, Lincy-poo," Lynn smiled and slapped his butt.

"Cute pet names," Lincoln nodded as he sat, his back against the wall. "I like."

"What are you going to call me?" Lynn asked as she wiggled her hips and slid her shorts down. Lincoln's breath caught in his throat and his mind went blank. His penis, hitherto flaccid, immediately sprang to life. "Well?"

"Huh?" Lincoln asked, looking up from the juncture of her thighs.

"What are you going to call _me_?"

"Uhhh...how about...Lynn-sanity?"

She snickered. "I don't know if I like that or not," she said. "Now whip it out."

Yes, ma'am. Lincoln unzipped his pants and pulled them down, along with his underwear. Lynn let her shorts fall to her ankles then stepped out of them. Lincoln braced his back against the wall, his eyes never leaving her face as she sank into his lap, his legs boxed between her knees. As she settled, his tip rubbed along the slick crease between her lips, and he let out a long, low _mmmmmmmmm_ , his nerve-endings crackling with electricity. She reached down, shifted (leaning close and kissing the tip of his nose), and held him to her opening. She sank onto him, his member peeling back the pedals of her flower and shooting into her bubbling well.

Her eyes widened and then narrowed to half-slits. She threw her arms around his neck and started rolling her hips. Lincoln's lungs and heart burst in time against his ribcage. He reached up and laid his hand on her cheek. She leaned in, and their lips met, her tongue penetrating his mouth. He hugged her close and together they rocked in time, their lips breaking and Lynn letting out a low, purring moan. She was bouncing, her back arched and her head thrown back. Lincoln buried his face in the hollow between her breasts, mindlessly biting the fabric of her shirt in his passion.

Suddenly, the door opened, and Lana's voice drifted in. "The wheel well! It's busted again!"

Like a rocket, Lynn blasted off of him and landed on her butt, whipping on her shorts so fast she was dressed before Lincoln even knew what was happening.

"I oughta kill her," Lynn growled.

Again? _Motherfucker!_

Sighing, Lincoln yanked up his pants and tucked his erection away. He started to get up, but Lynn motioned him to stay where he was. "We'll just wait for her to go away. I am _not_ giving up on this, especially after _that_. That was hot."

From the other side of the stack, Lana sighed. "Stupid Jeep. I _hate_ this damn thing. Such a piece of crap. Always breaking. I told Lola not to drive over toys but does she listen? No, she does what she wants because she thinks she's hot stuff." Something clattered against the ground. "Damn it! Why is Dad such a pig? He yells at _me_ for not cleaning up after myself, but he leaves this place looking like a sty. Arrrrr."

Lynn licked her lips.

"And what's that _smell?_ It's like sweat and dirty private parts."

Lynn's eyes flashed. "My private parts are _not_ dirty," she whispered.

Something fell to the floor, and Lincoln watched as a black plastic tire rolled into his and Lynn's alcove. He sighed. Well, there goes that. The tire struck his knee and he grabbed it just as Lana appeared, her overalls dirty and her face streaked with black. "Uh, hey, Linc," she said, bemused. She squeezed past the stack and saw Lynn, who bowed her head and lifted a hand in greeting. "Lynn."

Lana looked from brother to sister and back again. "What are you guys doing?" Was it Lincoln's imagination, or was there a mocking note to her voice?

Lincoln, never the most graceful of boys, panicked and blurted the first thing that came to mind: "Smoking cigarettes."

Lynn's eyes flashed.

"Oh. Huh. I never knew cigarettes smelled like sweaty crotch...can I have one?"

"Uh...we're all out, sorry."

Lana sighed. "Well, the next time you have some, can I have one?"

Lincoln shrugged. "Sure. Just don't tell Mom and Dad."

"Yeah, because I'm _so_ stupid," Lana said with a roll of her eyes. "Anyway, I gotta get back to fixing the Jeep. It's gonna take the rest of the day."

 _Of course it is,_ Lynn thought.

"We were just leaving," Lincoln said.

Outside, Lynn sagged her shoulders, and Lincoln threw a flurry of punches at the air. Will this torture ever end?


	6. Everybody's Busy

Lori Loud watched Lynn and Lincoln from her bedroom window. They both wore dejected expressions on their faces, Lynn slouched forward in a miserable posture, her arms dangling limply. Lincoln leaned against the side of the shed and slid down until he was sitting with his legs splayed in front of him. Lynn sank down next to him, their hands creeping into one another's effortlessly and, seemingly, without thought, as if they were drawn together magnetically. Lori's brow softened and she breathed deeply through her nose. They looked _really_ upset.

If she was completely honest, the thought of her brother and sister having sex together _literally_ made her skin crawl. Didn't it... _feel_ wrong? She tried to imagine kissing one of her siblings with her tongue, and a shudder raced down her spine. Gazing down at them, a part of her was happy they were interrupted, but another part felt bad for them. She knew what it was like: When she and Bobby had sex, they did it at his house, and more than once Ronnie Anne knocked at the door and they had to finish without finishing. One time they got each other so hot and bothered that they were both on the edge before their clothes even came off; just as he was about to penetrate her, his mom pulled into the driveway. Lori was so frustrated she could have cried.

As if on cue, Lynn broke down and buried her face in Lincoln's chest. Lincoln wrapped his arm around her shoulder and lazily stroked her hair. He stared straight ahead like a shell-shocked soldier waiting for an airlift to take him and the body parts of his dead friends back to base. Lori's heart broke and she turned away from the window.

Leni was sitting at her vanity and sketching a new dress design on a pad of paper, her tongue plastered to her upper lip in concentration. Her hand flew deftly over the page. You could say what you wanted about Leni, but she was a genius not only at design but at drawing as well; she typically drew each new design a dozen times, putting it onto the frame of every body type imaginable, from meth-head emaciated to McDonald's obese. "I want everyone to look good in my clothes," she said, "and if it doesn't look good on one person, I won't bother doing it." Her 'models' were so lifelike you could mistake them for real people in photographs if you didn't look closely enough. The funny part was: While Leni genuinely worked hard to improve her designs, she did not work hard at her art. It came naturally. Lori always told her she at least had something to fall back on if her fashion career didn't pan out, and she did. Her art was _that_ good.

Lori went to the foot of her bed and sat. Her younger sister was so close she could reach out and touch her bare arm. "Leni?"

"Yeah?" Leni asked without looking up, her hand still dancing across the page. Lori's eyes fixed on it.

"What if...what would you say if two of our siblings were...dating?"

Leni looked up, dark confusion clouding her eyes. Then it was gone and she shrugged one shoulder. "Ew, for one. But...like...they're happy and like each other, so what's the problem?" She turned back to her drawing and forged ahead. Lori scrunched her lips. "Don't you think it's wrong, though?"

"Kind of. I mean, like...if they...had kids or something it would be. But other than that...I don't see the big deal. So what?"

Lori sighed. "The ick factor?"

"People like pooping on each other, Lori. I don't know how much ickier it can get."

Her tone and expression were so serious that Lori couldn't help laugh despite herself. "What if...what if they were having sex?"

Leni looked her in the eyes. There was a knowing expression on her face. "Who is it?"

"Lincoln and Lynn," Lori confessed.

For a moment, Leni pointed her eyes at the ceiling. "I can see that. Their personalities complement each other."

"So does their DNA."

"As long as they don't get pregnant..." Leni went back to her sketch.

Yuck. That thought gave her the shivers. She got up and went to the window. Lynn and Lincoln were sitting next to each other, Lynn's knees drawn to her chest and Lincoln's head turned to her, his mouth moving noiselessly. If it made them happy and got them out of their funk...

Decided, Lori left her room and went to Luan and Luna's. Luna was on her bed, restringing her guitar and looking like she was about to blow up at it. Beads of sweat stood out on her brow, and her cheeks were flushed. "You piece of shit..." she muttered. Luan was at hers and Luna's shared desk, bent over a text book. "A five thousand word report on Franklin Pierce," she said to herself and shook her head. "America's lamest President..."

Lori leaned against the doorframe and cleared her throat. Both sisters looked at her. "Hey, Lori," Luan said.

"Hey," Lori hesitated, "I know you guys are busy and I'm sorry, but we need a meeting. Like, now."

"Fine with me," Luna said, pushing her guitar away and getting up. "I'm about to go full Jimi Hendrix and light this hunk on fire."

Luan got up and smoothed her skirt. "I'm so sick of reading about Franklin Pierce I could scream."

"Good. Come on."

Lori led them into her room and closed the door. "Just us?" Luan asked as she crossed to Leni's bed and sat down.

"Just us," Lori confirmed. She crossed her arms and leaned against the door while Luna flopped onto her, Lori's, bed and lay back. Leni cocked her head as she drew. "I'm listening," she said.

Lori nodded. She wracked her brain for how to put this. It wasn't a conversation she wanted to have, but it was one that _needed_ to be had. "Alright, I'm guessing you've all noticed that Lynn and Lincoln have both been in pretty shitty moods the last week or so."

"Eh," Luna said, "kind of."

"Especially yesterday!" Luan said, and slapped her knee as she remembered her siblings coming through the door drenched in sewage. Maybe it was mean-spirited, but that's something you only get to see once in a lifetime...if that.

"That's because..." Lori trailed off, his face flushing. "They're...together and...they haven't had time alone in a while."

Luan's brow knitted and she cocked her head. "What?"

Luna was propped up on her elbows, an equally confused expression on her face. "I don't catch your drift."

Lori rubbed the back of her neck. "They're boyfriend-and-girlfriend and they're frustrated because they haven't had sex in a while."

Luna sat straight up. Luan's jaw dropped. Leni went about her drawing, her head still cocked.

"What?" Luna asked, her face crinkling. "Are you serious?"

Lori nodded.

"Wow," Luan drew, and glanced down at her hands. Lincoln and Lynn...?

"I know it's gross," Lori said, "but he's our brother and she's our sister and we...we need to support them."

Luna looked conflicted for a moment, then shrugged. "Alright."

"Okay," Luan nodded. "If...if that's what they need."

"Good," Lori said. "Here's where we start..."

* * *

Lynn came through the back door, grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge, and unscrewed the cap. Her hands were shaking. Her knees were weak. She felt jittery, restless. The place between her legs ached so bad she felt like she was going to puke. So _this_ is what blue balls feel like. She didn't know girls could get them (blue ovaries?) but she wasn't surprised, with as many times as Lincoln had been in her the past couple of days, stretching her, filling her, his hot dick burning her walls...

Sighing, she took her Gatorade into the living room and plopped down on the couch. Her parents were sitting side-by-side watching TV. After a minute, Lincoln came through the living room and went upstairs, passing Leni, Lola, and Lucy coming down.

"I don't usually do tea parties," Lucy said, "but an undead tea party sounds wicked."

"Oh, it totes is," Leni replied.

They passed through on their way outside. Lynn tried to lose herself in the program, but couldn't: Her mind was constipated with naughty thoughts. She was so lost in these thoughts that she didn't realize Luan and Luna were standing in front of the TV until Luan spoke.

"Hello, Loud house! How are you? My sister, Luna, and I would like to welcome you to an hour of music and comedy."

Luna was holding her guitar and Luan was wearing her stupid Groucho Marx glasses. Lynn rolled her eyes. Oh, God.

"Oooo," Mom said, clasping her hands at her chest, "I just _love_ it when you guys put on shows."

"You have our full and undivided attention," Dad added.

 _Not mine,_ Lynn thought as she got up and climbed the stairs. She went into her room and flopped onto her bed. Man, she was really hot. Literally. Her crotch felt like a ball of fire. She sighed. Maybe she...

"Knock-knock."

Lynn started and sat up. Lori was standing in the doorway, her arms crossed.

"Hey," Lynn said heavily and fell back against the mattress. Lori came over and sat. "I know how hard it is for you and Lincoln to...find time to 'be alone'."

"Yeah," Lynn sighed. "I'm starting to think it's never going to happen."

Lori laid her hand on Lynn's leg. "Well...Luna and Luan have Mom and Dad preoccupied for an hour...and Leni has Lucy and Lola busy...Lana's still in the shed...Lisa was up all night so she's crashed...and I have Lilly...so maybe you guys can be alone..."

There was a smile in Lori's eyes, and after a moment, Lynn realized what she was doing. "Y-You mean it?"

Lori nodded. "Go get him, tiger."

Lynn grinned and started to get up, but Lori stopped her. "Oh, before you do."

She reached into her back pocket and took something out. She shoved it into Lynn's hand. It was a condom. "Use this. Please?"

* * *

Lincoln Loud sighed, laid the comic book on his chest, and glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand. 4:30pm. _This day's a bust, I should just jack off now_.

No, no...don't lose hope. There's still a chance you and Lynn can get something going. You just have to be patient.

Being patient was really fucking hard when your dick was like a steel rod glowing orange with heat. He looked down at the tent in his pants. Really, he could probably kill someone with this thing. He threw his head back and sighed. 4:31pm. Midnight was a _long_ way off. Damn it, this shit is lame. He sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He raked an unsteady hand through his air and bent, hoping the pressure against his erection would make it go down, but it didn't: His dick was perma-hard. The Viagra commercials he saw on TV said having an erection for more than four hours was dangerous. That was because something to do with the pill, right? Or was having all that blood down there just _dangerous_? If it _was_ dangerous in general, he was in trouble. It would probably wind up splitting like a hotdog in the microwave.

He imagined waking up after another night of not being released and finding his dick cleaved down the middle like a banana peel, and shuddered. Fuck _that_.

He laid back on his bed and unzipped his pants. He pulled them down, along with his underwear, and was just about to grab himself when the door flew open and Lynn came in, a crazed look in her eyes and a lopsided smile on her face. She saw his pulsing shaft and paused. "Oh, no you don't...that's _mine_."

She shut the door and locked it. She turned to him and yanked down her shorts. "W-What are you doing?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing," she said, leaning forward, "just about to fuck my boyfriend."

Lincoln gulped. "But..."

She was kneeling on the bed now. She pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Her budding breasts were small and pert, her nipples as hard as his dick. She had a cute mole on her collarbone. How Lincoln enjoyed kissing that mole...

"What if...what...?" She crawled up between his legs and stared down into his eyes.

"We won't. Everyone's...busy."

Lincoln blinked, his heart pounding. "T-They are?"

She nodded slowly. "Our sisters have our backs..."

" _Lori told?"_

"Shut up and fuck me, will ya?"

She straddled him and grinded herself against him. The feeling sent long fingers of pleasure into his brain. His breath caught and his heels dug into the covers. Lynn watched him with lustful eyes, her teeth grazing her bottom lip. She lifted up, then slowly sank onto him, his penis sliding past her lips and plunging into her. Together they gasped as he reached the back of her canal. She lifted up, then brought herself down again. Her rippling walls caressed him like wet satin, and he went lightheaded.

Suddenly, she rolled off of him, the air cold against penis. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I forgot something." She got up and bent to grab her shorts. Lincoln's member quivered with need, but he didn't mind the view. She found what she was looking for, stood, and turned. "Here." She tossed it, and it landed on his chest. A condom. He picked it up and looked at it strangely.

He looked up at Lynn. "My bare dick's not good enough?" He grinned.

"Lori made me promise, and since she's the only reason we can do this, I owe it to her." She crawled onto the bed and kissed his kneecap. Goosebumps raced up and down his body.

"Alright," he said as she moved higher, trailing kisses along his skin. "I'll – I'll put it –" he swallowed hard as she reached his pubic mound and ran her tongue down the crease between it and his leg. He threw his head back and sighed, his dick twitching. She shifted so that she was between his legs, looking up at him with smoldering eyes. "Open it and give it here."

He swallowed again and ripped the packaging open. The condom was slick and greasy in his hand. What the fuck? Lynn reached up and took it.

"I'll put it on you in a minute," she said, "but first..."

She bowed her head and took him in her mouth, her lips lightly scraping his shaft on the way down. He touched the back of her throat, and she pulled up. Lincoln's stomach filled with hot lead. "Stop!"

She spit him out and waited as he fought to hold back his orgasm. It was close, so close, his member twitching and leaking. When the pressure dissipated, he drew a deep breath.

"You good now?" she asked, a smile in her voice.

Lincoln closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah." He laughed. "You almost got me."

"I wouldn't have been very happy," she said. She rolled the condom onto him, pinching the tip, just like they demonstrated in health class. She took him in her mouth and went back and forth a few times. That would help it stay in place.

She pushed up and looked at him. "Ready?"

He nodded. "I wanna be on top, though."

Lynn shrugged. "Alright." They switched spots, Lynn lying against his pillow. He mounted her and stroked her cheek, a smile on his face. "I love you," he said.

"I love you –"

Her declaration ended in a gasp as he surged into her. He grabbed her breast in one hand and rubbed her nipple as he fell into a steady pace. She couldn't feel him as well with the condom on, but the friction along her walls felt _soooo_ good regardless; heat spread out from her sex and enveloped her.

Lincoln was panting heavily, his eyes closed and his teeth bared. He looked like he was in pain.

"You okay?" she asked.

He nodded. "Trying not to cum."

An orgasm formed deep in the pit of her stomach and started to gather steam. She closed her eyes and tried, like Lincoln, to fight it back; she didn't want this to be over so soon. It had been a _looong_ time, however, and it grew and grew, expanding, getting hotter, more insistent. Her flesh was hot. Her mind was clouded. She started to shake, and she knew she was cumming whether she liked it or not: She thought of that freight train again. It was rushing downhill, its wheels turning faster and faster. There was no stopping it. Nature was calling, yelling, SCREAMING...when it hit her, she jerked violently against him and cried out, her entire body filled with fire. She clenched around him, and he lost it, filling the condom with a series of sexy half-moans-half-gasps that made Lynn cum even harder. He collapsed limply against her.

For a long time, they lay like that, Lincoln on top and Lynn on the bottom; she ran her fingers through his hair and he nibbled her shoulder. Their hearts pounded against one another, their breathing was uneven, ragged, and their sweaty flesh stuck tackily together.

"You're amazing, you know that?" she asked and kissed the top of his head.

"So are you," he said into her neck, and kissed her pulsing flesh.

"I love you, Lincoln."

"I love _you,_ Lynn."

They smiled at each other. For that moment, all the right with the world. They were happy, satisfied, and in love.

What more could a person really want?

* * *

 **Someone requested I do a flashback of the time Lynn and Lincoln did it under the porch and got eaten up by fire ants. I plan on doing that and tacking it on after this chapter, so I'll leave this story marked as 'on-going' but it's done otherwise. Lynn and Lincoln finally got to have time alone. Aren't happy endings the best?**


	7. Still Had Sex

**A long time ago I promised to write out a scene that was alluded to in the story itself: Lynn and Lincoln having sex under the front porch while fire ants sting the shit out of them. Well, last night AberrantScript reminded me of my vow, and since I'm between stories, I decided 'what the hell?'**

 **Here it is, in all its glory. Hope you enjoy.**

 _I'm gonna cream my jeans if this keeps up,_ Lincoln thought, crossing his legs. He and Lynn were sitting on the couch, a baseball game on TV. Lincoln thought baseball was lame: Bunch of pansies in button-up shirts chewing tobacco and touching themselves like Michael Jackson in one of those videos from back in the day when he was still black and still had a nose. There was one bright spot, though: Baseball really cleared the room. When he came down the stairs ten minutes ago, Lynn was alone – totally and entirely alone. _Holy shit,_ he thought with a grin. _When does_ this _happen?_

Never, that's when. 1216 Franklin Avenue is home to thirteen people (wasn't that an unlucky number?), and when that many people are shoved up together, privacy is a luxury you don't often come by. Normally that was mildly irritating, but ever since he and Lynn...uh...started doing things together, it was endlessly frustrating. Why? Oh, no reason...other than they never had time to have sex. Jeez, they couldn't even get a quickie in without someone bothering them.

Lincoln looked left, then right. The place was deserted.

Perfect.

He came around the couch and dropped down. "Hey, sis," he said. Lynn, hitherto sitting on the edge of her seat (literally, she was almost falling off), glanced at him, and grinned. "Hey, Linc. How's it going?"

Lincoln shrugged. "Alright. You looked kind of...alone...so I thought I'd _come_ keep you company."

A devilish grin spread across Lynn's freckled face. "Oh, yeah?"

Lincoln shrugged again. "I'm a nice guy."

"Nice _looking,"_ Lynn said, scooting closer. He slipped his arm around her shoulder and her hand fluttered to the growing bulge between his legs. "Ummm, hey, Linc." She brushed her thumb against the tip, and he sucked a mouthful of air. Half-turning, his laid his hand on her crotch. "Ummm, hey, Lynn."

She giggled and took a trembling breath, her big brown eyes shimmering with lust. Staring into them, Lincoln rubbed her through her shorts while she rubbed him through his pants. It wasn't full on sex, but hey, he was so horny he'd take what he could get.

Biting her lower lip, she leaned in. "If I pulled my shorts down and sat on your lap..."

"Shut up and take my money," Lincoln said, starting to unzip his pants. Lynn pulled her hand back and hooked it into her shorts.

When Lucy spoke behind them, Lynn blasted into outer space and Lincoln screamed like a woman.

"Don't be so dramatic," Lucy said, "I didn't scare you _that_ bad. Have either of you seen Luan? She said she'd listen to my new poem if I listened to her new routine."

"Have you seen my fist?" Lynn asked sharply, raising said fist and shaking it.

"I see what you do to yourself with it at night."

Lynn blushed and Lucy skipped away.

Lincoln sighed. "Maybe..."

He was going to say _maybe we can be alone now,_ but the words died on his lips when Luna appeared from literally nowhere and plopped down between them. "Baseball, huh? Rockin'!"

Lincoln bowed his head.

"Which team are we rooting for?"

Lincoln crossed his legs against his erection.

For a long time, they sat there watching TV, Lynn and Lincoln both looking annoyed. Finally, at the bottom of the ninth, Lynn could take no more. She jumped up. "Yo, Linc, wanna play ball?"

"God, yes," Lincoln said, virtually jumping from his seat. His feet tangled and he went to his knees. Aw, God! I'm okay! He crawled to the edge of the couch and used the coffee table to stand.

His sister's eyes twinkled. " _Come_ on, then."

Outside, the day was warm and sunny. Lynn leaned back into him, the breeze tossing her fragrant chestnut hair into his face. He wrapped his arm around her and ground his erection against her butt. He didn't mean to...his body was acting of its own accord...really.

"So," she said, "I know where we can be alone."

He kissed her neck. "Where?" he panted.

"Under the porch."

Lincoln's brow furrowed. "Uh...under the porch?"

"Yeah," she said, "who's going to bother us under there?"

Lincoln cocked his head. "No one?"

"No one."

"Okay, let's do it."

He followed her down the steps. There was a section where the lattice skirting was missing, and, with a glance around, Lynn dropped to her knees and crawled through. Lincoln knelt, tossed his own glance around (no one saw them...awesome!), and followed suit.

Under the porch, it was dark and cool, sunlight falling through cracks and dappling the dirt.

Before Lincoln could speak, Lynn threw herself at him and knocked him back, her lips molding to his and her legs wrapping themselves around his waist. He had no choice but to wrap his arms around her back and battle her tongue with his...what else could he have done, just let her whoop him? Not damn likely.

Lynn grinded her crotch against his, and he ground right back. The pressure was rising, the heat was building, and if she didn't get off of him and stop rubbing him like that he was going to blow his load.

He pushed her away. "Lynn...you be on bottom."

She shrugged. "Okay." She got off and yanked her gym shorts down. Lincoln got to his knees, unzipped his pants, and whipped his bat out...he was going for a homerun. _Nothing_ was going to stop him.

Lynn beckoned him with her finger and a come-and-get-me grin.

Lincoln slipped out of his pants and mounted his sister, pushing her legs apart with his knees. The hot, wild smell of her found his nostrils, and he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Alright," she said, leaning back, "we don't have time for any of that foreplay bullshit. Just stick it in and make me cum."

Lincoln grinned. She didn't have to tell _him_ twice.

Positioning himself at her hole, he pushed, his ball shooting into Lynn's end zone. She gasped and threw her arms around his neck. "Like that...like that...like that..."

He thrusted hard, and she cried out. "Wait...there's dirt in my ass." She shifted and winced. "Okay. Keep going."

He thrusted again, his knees slipping in the dirt and his dick twisting at painful angles.

"What's wrong?" she gasped.

"Nothing," he panted, drawing himself up.

He found as steady a motion as he could, and pumped in and out of his sister. Yes! He was going to score a touchdown!

Lynn yelped.

"What?" he asked, slowing.

"I think something just bit me."

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "It's probably not..."

 _"Ow!"_

"Lynn..." he started, but stopped when he felt something tickling his nuts. He reached a hand down just as searing pain shot into them. He threw back his head and moaned. "Fuck! My sack!"

Lynn jumped. "Ouch! Ah, my lip!"

She wasn't talking about her mouth lips.

Lincoln pulled out of her and looked down. Red, angry fire ants were marching aimlessly through the dirt. "Fire ants! Goddamn it!"

" _Ow! My butt!"_

Lincoln sat on his knees for a moment, his penis pointing at his sister's parted lips and quivering like a divining rod over an underground well. An ant bit his knee, and he slapped the shit out of it, succeeding only in hurting himself.

"Fuck it," Lynn sighed, "finish me!"

An ant was marching up his knee again, and he flicked it off.

"Alright."

He got on top of her and started pumping wildly. Lynn's cries of pleasure were punctuated by cries of pain as ants attacked her vulnerable flesh. Another ant chomped down on Lincoln's balls, and he hissed over clenched teeth. "Hurry up and cum, goddamn it!"

He thrusted hard once, twice, three times, and, with an _"Ouch!"_ Lynn trembled over the edge and shook with her climax. Thank God. Lincoln thrusted two more times, then let himself finish, shooting his hot, creamy seed deep into Lynn's well.

"Alright, get off of me!" she said, then pushed him off. He toppled over and landed on his side, cum still dripping from his tip. She hurriedly pulled up her shorts and blasted out through the hole. Lincoln grabbed his pants, yanked them up, and followed. He found her rolling in the grass, a pained expression on her face. "Ah, they're in my shirt!"

"Come here," Lincoln said, crawling over and lifting the back of her shirt. Her smooth, creamy skin was covered in angry red welts. He saw an ant, and crushed it with his finger. She yelped.

At that moment, something stung his butthole, and he jumped to his feet. "Arggh!" He jammed his hand down the back of his pants and found the offending ant trying its damnedest to squeeze in through the back door. Oh, hell no. He plucked it out and crushed it between his thumb and forefinger.

Lynn lie in the grass, panting. Lincoln dropped down next to her. His nuts hurt. His butt hurt.

"Still had sex," Lynn panted, and held her hand up for a high-five.

Lincoln slapped it. "Still had sex."


End file.
